A Light in the Darkness
by Normative Jean
Summary: Teyla knew the burden of leadership very well. She wanted to make Dr. Weir understand that.


Title: A Light in the Darkness  
Type / Pairings: general/none  
Main characters: Elizabeth, Teyla  
Rating: G  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Beta: graciously examined by **dannylover**, which means all remaining mistakes are mine.  
Disclaimer: belongs to Brad Wright, Robert Cooper, and the various production companies  
Author's Notes: takes place between "Rising Pt. 2" and "Hide and Seek," all the way back in season one.  
Summary: Teyla knew the burden of leadership very well. She wanted to make Dr. Weir understand that.

The air smelled of salt and space; it was something Teyla had immediately found comforting when she and her people first came to Atlantis. She spent much of her waking hours in the past week tending to the needs and concerns of the Athosians, none of whom were any more comfortable in this new place than she was. The Wraith attack was still fresh in everybody's minds, and Teyla sought to ease their pain and loss however well she could; being in the City of the Ancestors, however magnificent, only compounded the sense of fear that carried through all their words and actions.

She had been acting as a liaison between the majority of her people and their strange new allies who had come from a world untouched by the scourge of their galaxy. Most of them were friendly, courteous, and certainly sympathetic to what had happened on the Athosian homeworld. Still, Teyla wondered if these people truly understood what had happened; if they did not know of the Wraith, then how could they truly feel the horror of the culling? No, she corrected herself. They had lost people too; if she understood correctly, the man who had died, Colonel Sumner, had been one of their leaders.

In the end, Teyla decided it didn't matter if they knew what the Wraith were capable of or not. They had stared the Wraith head on when they attacked Athos, and she had seen these people walk right into a Hive ship to rescue captured innocents. The events of that day told her everything she needed to know about the Earthlings to trust them.

Now she just needed to get to know them.

It seemed likely that she and the other Athosians would be here for the immediate future, and Teyla knew that as her people's leader she would need to become closer to their hosts. With the exception of Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford, Teyla had not had any real conversations with any of them. She knew it was at least in part because the Athosians had arrived shortly after the Earthlings had come to the City of the Ancestors themselves, and that they were still arranging themselves. She supposed in that sense, both peoples were now refugees.

It was only the relative freedom of the open air on this secluded deck that allowed Teyla's thoughts to wander. The scent of the air, the sight of the sea and sky, the silence all calmed her in a way that nothing, not even spending time inside with her people, could. Teyla figured it was because the ocean and sky were familiar things, similar on every planet in the galaxy. She had yet to see any of the Earthlings come out to this balcony yet; Teyla wondered if it was because they had not found time yet or if they did not appreciate the view before them.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that anyone was out here."

Teyla turned around to see Doctor Elizabeth Weir, the leader of the Earthlings, standing just out of the doorway. She looked truly apologetic, as though she had not meant to disturb Teyla. That comforted her in a small way; she appreciated that their leader could respect people's privacy and space.

"It is fine, Doctor. I was just taking a moment of silence."

"Yes," Dr. Weir said, nodding. She stepped further onto the balcony, allowing the door to slide closed behind her. Even such small things amazed Teyla. Dr. Weir paused where she was, hesitating. Then, she seemed to reach a decision with herself--if Teyla were to judge by the shifting expressions on the Doctor's face--and looked at where Teyla stood at the railing. "Would you mind if I joined you for a bit? A break from the chaos inside sounds really wonderful."

Teyla smiled. She had meant to speak with Dr. Weir since they first arrived; the woman was the leader of the Earthlings, and she was a good person to have as an ally. "No, of course no, Doctor. It is a bit intense in there, I agree."

Dr. Weir smiled and nodded again, walking across the balcony and leaning her arms on the railing next to Teyla. Dr. Weir closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, a soft look on her face as she exhaled. "It's beautiful, isn't it? Nothing but ocean, the sun reflecting like this?"

Teyla smiled, but was shocked. "I had not seen any of your people spending time outside. I was not sure it was something to be appreciated in your culture."

"We've been busy," Dr. Weir agreed. "But please don't think we don't appreciate the beauty or the magnificence of our surroundings. Many on my expedition team are scientists; that is, they are simply more excited by what they are finding inside the city."

This made sense to Teyla, given the way she had seen some of the people--Dr. McKay and the others who surrounded him in particular--react to things which made no sense or held any interest to the Athosians. It was different values among the Earthlings themselves, not a whole cultural rejection of nature. That comforted Teyla a great deal.

"It's not that they don't value all this," Dr. Weir continued while making a sweeping motion outwards with her arm. Off Teyla's look of surprise, Dr. Weir smiled wider. "I'm sorry, but your expression made it fairly obvious what you were thinking."

Teyla nodded. "You are a leader among your people here. I can see how reading their expressions would be a useful skill to acquire."

"It was actually something I picked up along the way back on Earth during my previous jobs."

This shocked Teyla. "You have not always been the leader of these people?" But they followed her orders with no complaint!

Dr. Weir's smile faded a bit, and Teyla wondered what she was thinking about.

"I've only been the leader of this group for a few months. I was offered the job back on Earth, when an outpost abandoned by the Ancients on our planet was discovered on a piece of land whose ownership was being disputed by several different governing bodies among our planet's people."

Teyla was fascinated. "The Ancestors were from Earth?" Did that mean these people really _were_ the Ancestors?

But Dr. Weir shook her head. "No. At least, we don't think so. As far as we've been able to discover, Earth was just one of many thousands of planets in our galaxy that was populated by the Ancients, and the place the last of their survivors retreated to after the final battle with the Wraith about ten thousand years ago." Dr. Weir turned to look at Teyla. "We're the second form of this kind to appear in our galaxy, evolving like this for hundreds of thousands of years alone on Earth after the Ancients had left for the first time and before they returned." At this, Dr. Weir's eyes became shadowed, as though she was thinking of something very unpleasant. Teyla wondered if it had to do with the Ancestors.

"You seem troubled, Dr. Weir. I would think your people had led a relatively peaceful existence, especially if the Ancestors returned to your planet." Teyla felt her own face become drawn. What a wonderful existence the Earthlings must have led before coming here. "The Wraith have never touched your world."

A low, mirthless chuckle escaped from Dr. Weir. "It's ironic, isn't it, Teyla? We came here hoping to find the help of the Ancients to defeat a horrible enemy in our own galaxy, only to awaken the race that killed the most powerful civilization our galaxy had ever seen." Dr. Weir seemed to realize what she was saying, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Teyla. I shouldn't be burdening you with this. Your people have suffered a horrible loss; you don't need to deal with my own worries."

Teyla was not so easily dissuaded, and now her concern was piqued. She understood how lonely it could be as a leader, especially if your people were in danger. Teyla was sure Dr. Weir did not have anyone on her team who knew what it was like, not the way Teyla did. And, she thought sadly, perhaps it would take her mind off her own problems to listen to Dr. Weir's.

"It is a great burden," Teyla began slowly, choosing her words carefully. She had a feeling Dr. Weir's momentary lapse was more a result of the extreme stress of the previous week than any natural tendency of hers to run off at the mouth to new acquaintances. She continued, "to be a leader among such a diverse group of people. Even more so when the situation is unfamiliar, and more still when that situation is dangerous. " Teyla turned her body fully to look at the other woman. "You could not have known what awaited you here, nor could you have known that your actions would awaken the Wraith prematurely." She smiled softly. "But you only hastened a process that has been going on for countless generations. None of my people harbor any ill will towards you."

Dr. Weir remained facing the ocean, her head hanging down as she stared at the waves breaking against the city's edge. "I understand what you're saying, Teyla, and I appreciate it." It sounded as though Dr. Weir was choosing her words just as carefully as Teyla had. Teyla wondered briefly just what sort of training the woman had had for her previous work on Earth. "But the fact remains that the Wraith _are_ awake because of us, perhaps hundreds of years before they would have otherwise. Tell me," she asked, still looking to the sea, "are there other planets in this galaxy populated with humans?"

"Yes, many hundreds that I am aware of," Teyla replied slowly, not entirely sure where the conversation was heading.

"Then there are hundreds of planets on which an entire generation of people might have never known the horror of the Wraith if it hadn't been for us."

Ah. Dr. Weir's mood made much more sense to Teyla now. And she found that she respected Dr. Weir a great deal more because of it than she had until that moment. "You feel responsible for all those lives that you did not even know existed until now." Teyla did not ask; rather, she stated, since she already knew the answer.

Dr. Weir did not verbally respond, but Teyla saw her eyes widen for a moment before a look of understanding and resignation settled on her face.

Teyla understood the weight that Dr. Weir had placed on her own shoulders. Being a leader meant great hardships, and only those who were truly suited for such positions possessed the empathy required to face the situations such a job inevitably brought. That Dr. Weir felt such concern for lives of people who were not her own, in this galaxy that was not her own, brought great relief to Teyla's heart. If this was the caliber of leadership the Earthlings prized, then she had really not been wrong to trust Major Sheppard that fateful day. Teyla knew only too well the horrors of which Dr. Weir spoke, and her own heart wrenched at the thought of innocent children playing on countless anonymous planets, ignorant to the fact that their lives might be cut short. Still, Teyla felt it necessary to make Dr. Weir understand that those people would have known about the Wraith, with or without the current situation.

"All my life," Teyla began, "I have lived with the knowledge of what the Wraith are capable of. All my people do. Dr. Weir," she spoke gently now, for Teyla did not want the other woman to misunderstand her honestly for flippancy. "We tell stories of the cullings, of the great terror that is the Wraith, so that no generation, even those that never experience that for themselves, forgets the sacrifices made and the lives lost in our desire to simply _live_ without threat of destruction."

Dr. Weir had turned by then, looking at Teyla as she spoke. Teyla thought she saw an expression of contemplation, as though this Earth woman was judging her in some way. But it was quick, and subtle, and Teyla only knew that Dr. Weir smiled slightly after it had passed. So, she continued.

"My father was a great leader among our people, and well-respected among the other planets we traded with. He taught me to be strong, and to never forget what came before me and will come after me. When he died, his burden of leadership fell to me, and I hope that I have not forgotten the lessons he taught me. I have tried to lead my people with strength and courage, and to teach our children not to let the fear of the Wraith prevent them from enjoying even one moment of life, but it is difficult. We accept the culling as a fact of our existence, but we challenge it as our only reason for existence. We live as we can, and do what we can."

"Because what else is there?" Dr. Weir asked, though her tone suggested that she understood what Teyla was saying. "A great scientist and thinker on Earth once said that as far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being." She stood up straighter and pulled away from the railing, looking across the ocean to the horizon where the sun was beginning to meet the water. "Making our lives our own is a very fundamental value on Earth, and it is part of the reason we were facing our enemy back home. We might not live with the threat of the Wraith, but Earth has always had the potential to be snuffed from existence, either by our own means or outside hands."

Ah, yes. This was something Teyla had been meaning to ask about. She had questioned Major Sheppard about why the Earthlings had come to Atlantis, but it seemed that his knowledge of what his home planet faced was not a topic in which he was well-versed. Teyla felt certain now, after listening to Dr. Weir, that she could better explain what had brought these people so far from home.

"Is that why you sought out the City of the Ancestors?"

Dr. Weir laughed softly. "Yes, in part. We were facing an enemy in our own galaxy and had hoped to find something here that would help defend our planet and others against this enemy." She gave a small smile. "But the potential wealth of knowledge that we thought we would find here justified this expedition in its own right."

Teyla tilted her head to the side. "This enemy. They are to you what the Wraith are to us?"

"I suppose that's one way to look at it," Dr. Weir nodded. "But the complexities are always different."

"Indeed," Teyla smiled. "In any situation there are great differences. It is in finding the similarities that we are able to either gain allies or find new ways of defeating old enemies."

Dr. Weir smiled, then, the truest show of emotion Teyla had seen yet from the woman. "That's a very wise point of view to take. You're an excellent leader for your people, Teyla. I hope we're able to take your words to heart while we're here."

"Yes, Major Sheppard told me when we first met that you had no way of returning to your home." Teyla inclined her head. "I am sorry. Your people will not likely find the help you were searching for."

Teyla was surprised when Dr. Weir shook her head. "No. I told you, it was as much the desire for knowledge as finding allies against our enemy that we came here. Every person in this city came knowing we might never return home."

"Still," Teyla said. "It cannot be comforting for your people to know they will never return to Earth."

"I could say the same for you and your people, Teyla," Dr. Weir said gently. "It seems that we are both leaders of stranded peoples, now."

The women stood in silence after that, watching the sky burn and finally fade to purple as the sun sank below the horizon. It was cooler now that it was night, and Teyla knew they would need to get back inside. Still, she did not want to leave yet; she was fascinated by the these Earthlings, wanted to learn more about them and their world. She understood why the Earthlings were so willing to risk never getting home again; if they could find the help or the knowledge in Atlantis that they sought, they would be able to defend their home. They were much stronger than she had first thought. She turned to Dr. Weir, intending to ask her if she would mind continuing their talk inside, but she stopped her words when she caught the sight of the woman's face under the glow of the city lights. "Dr. Weir?" Teyla asked softly. "What is wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Teyla."

Sorry? Teyla could not for the life of her think of why Dr. Weir would be apologizing to her. "For what?"

Dr. Weir took in a deep, shaky breath, and kept her eyes turned away from Teyla's. "I knew that one of the reasons our homeworld is in danger is because we jumped into things without considering the possible ramifications of our actions. It was the same here. I wanted to be so much more careful than our leaders on Earth had been, and instead I allowed the worst enemy _either_ galaxy has ever known to awaken. I am so sorry for what has happened to your people, but even more so because of what will happen in the near future."

Teyla remained silent, assessing what Dr. Weir had just told her. It only added to her positive opinion of the woman, and reinforced Teyla's belief that she was the best person to be leading the Earthlings in Atlantis. Teyla decided she would simply have to make the woman understand that herself. "You did not hear a word I said before."

Dr. Weir's head shot up. "No, of course I did. I was listening to you, and I felt you made some very valid points--"

Teyla held up a hand to stop Dr. Weir. She spoke softly and knew that Dr. Weir could see the look of understanding on her face under the city glow. "Please, Doctor. I told you that I understand the trials you face as the leader of your people, and I do. That you would be so worried over the fate of people you do not even know speaks so highly of you, Dr. Weir. You may have made the right decision in rescuing those of us who had been taken captive by the Wraith, or it may have been wrong. But there is a saying among my people: _a leader may not always do right, but they must always know what _is _right._" Teyla placed her hand on Dr. Weir's shoulder in a gesture of compassion. "Your actions are not what are important, it is the intent behind them. You feel empathy for people you do not know, and seek to help those you can, however you can. You burden yourself more with the thought of _knowing_ the right thing, and I believe that it is a quality that will serve you well as you lead your people." Teyla paused and smiled, hoping to convey her own feelings regarding her next words. "And I believe it will make our peoples the strongest of allies."

She didn't answer, but Dr. Weir turned to face Teyla with a stronger smile on her face. "You're right," she finally said. "I would like very much for our people to become friends."

Dr. Weir stepped away from the railing and Teyla allowed her hand to fall back to her side. "We should go inside," Dr. Weir finally said, taking a final look at the night sky before turning back towards the city. "Everyone's probably looking for us."

"We have been out here for quite a while," Teyla agreed, walking back towards the doors alongside Dr. Weir.

"A leader's work is never done."

Dr. Weir spoke sardonically, but Teyla could hear the smile in her voice. She was glad the Earth woman seemed to be more comfortable in her role as leader. While Teyla had never doubted that she was strong, she knew that sometimes everybody needed a friendly ear. And she was glad to find in the Earthling's leader a person of great convictions and strong empathy. The Athosians might never see their own home again, and the Wraith would undoubtedly come to Atlantis seeking to halt any defiance by the humans. But Teyla felt better about facing the future, because she believed more strongly now that the Earth people knew what was right, and would try their best to act accordingly.

Teyla was a leader of her people, and she understood Dr. Weir's fears and concerns, even those she did not speak of. As they reentered the city, Teyla came to the decision that she would support Dr. Weir in the time to come, confident that she would make the right choices.

After all, a leader who knows what _is_ right is more likely to try and _do_ right, and Teyla had a feeling that that was going to make all the difference.

The End


End file.
